The Best Man: If the best man is from out of town, he may need to pay for his own transportation to the wedding and for lodging while there. He may also be asked to pay for the rental of his tuxedo or suit. If the best man lives near the groom, he should take an active role in helping the groom with any pre-wedding planning that needs to be done. If requested to do so, he should pick up the tuxedos from the rental shop the day before the wedding and distribute them to the appropriate people, then return them after the wedding (only if the groom paid for the tuxes). The best man may also be in charge of planning the bachelor party if one is held.
On the day of the wedding the best man will have a number of responsibilities, including:
- Assist the groom in dressing
- Run last minute errands for the groom
- Work with the maid/matron of honor and wedding coordinator to handle any last minute details or problems that occur
- Assist with ushering if requested
- Escort the maid/matron of honor out of the sanctuary at the end of the ceremony. If the bride chooses, the best man may also escort the maid/matron of honor down the aisle when the ceremony begins.
- Hand the bride’s ring to the groom during the ceremony. The best man may either carry the ring, or retrieve it from the ring bearer’s pillow. He may also be asked to carry the groom’s ring if the bride prefers.
- Pay the minister, organist, soloist, and any others that need to be paid for services rendered during the ceremony if they have not already been paid. The groom or the person responsible for the payments will give the best man an envelope with a check enclosed for each service provider. (The wedding coordinator may do this instead of the best man.) (Note: The best man does not pay using his own funds.)
- If the reception is being held at a separate location, the best man may be asked to drive the bride and groom or other members of the wedding party to the site if they did not rent a limo.
- Sign the marriage license when requested to do so by the officiant
Unless the best man is also serving as an usher, he and the groom should retire to their dressing room after the pictures have been taken and while guests are arriving and being seated, generally 30 minutes before the ceremony begins. It is tempting to mingle with the guests, but that is best left for the reception. The best man is not expected to stand in the receiving line, if there is one. He may be asked to give a toast at the reception.
After the reception ends, the best man should collect all the tuxedoes and return them to the rental shop at the designated time, unless the groom has made other arrangements. (Don’t forget the shoes.) He should also assist with any post-wedding clean-up, removal of decorations, and transporting of wedding gifts if the groom requests.
Note: It is acceptable for the groom to choose a female to serve as “best man.” She is then called the honor attendant. If there is an honor attendant, she should dress with the ladies, but join the men for photos. She should wear a black dress or one in a color that matches the men’s tuxes/suits, rather than dressing like the bride’s attendants. She would not assist the groom in dressing, nor would she escort the maid of honor out, though they may walk together. She should wear a corsage rather than carrying a bouquet.
-© 2006 Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC; all rights reserved