As a general rule, tip only employees not business owners (though owners can be tipped for exceptional service). Thank you notes are always appreciated by any vendor – add them to your list

Here’s our Wedding Tipping Cheat Sheet: 

11. Waiting till after the wedding to pack for the honeymoon. If you are leaving for your honeymoon the day after the wedding, pack two or three days before the wedding. If you rush around at the last minute, you will forget something, and you sure don’t want to be doing laundry on your wedding day.

12. Planning to be your own wedding coordinator. On the wedding day you will be so focused on being where you need to be (hair appointment, photos, ceremony, reception) that you won’t have time to find out if the cake was delivered, the DJ has arrived and is set up, the centerpieces are set out, candles are lighted, and all the myriad details a wedding coordinator will handle. Don’t expect your mom to act as the coordinator. She will be busy too and she will want to enjoy spending time with the guests. Hiring a day-of coordinator is one of the best investments you can make.

13. Not considering transportation needs of your guests. It is a courtesy to consider the needs of your out of town family and friends and how they will get to and from the wedding. Check with the hotel where you blocked rooms to see if their shuttle van might be available for a fee to take guests to the ceremony and pick them up afterwards. Alternatively, you might rent a trolley or ask your wedding coordinator to have the phone number of a taxi service available for those who need it.

14. Using an iPod or laptop for your music. This works only if you carefully plan your play list and you have an experienced person to operate the iPod or laptop. You can’t hand it off to someone who doesn’t know how to operate it or who doesn’t know what to play when. A beautifully planned wedding can be ruined by problems with the music. If you are not totally confident in the ability of a designated person to handle everything smoothly, hire a professional and don’t risk ruining your ceremony or reception.

15. Making a seating chart the night before the wedding. Seating charts are a major headache. You need one only if you are having a sit-down dinner with multiple entree choices. If it is a sit-down dinner with only one entree or a buffet, have your caterer or coordinator reserve tables for the wedding party and parents, then allow the other guests to sit where they want.

16. Asking for gifts. It is socially taboo to indicate to your guests that a gift is expected and what it should be. An invitation to a wedding is a request for family and friends to join you in celebrating a joyous occasion in your life. It isn’t about gifts. If you register, and it is helpful if you do, registry information should not appear in your wedding invitation. (A shower hostess may mention it, however.) And it is never okay to ask for money in a wedding invitation. If you prefer money, then don’t register and when people ask, verbally tell them you prefer money, but don’t be surprised if some still bring gifts. If you live in another area, encourage guests to choose gifts from your registry and have them shipped to your home rather than bringing them to the wedding.

Forget about having a money tree; your guests are not obligated to help pay for the wedding or honeymoon. The same is true with money dances. Unless it is part of your culture, you may offend more people than participate.

17. Having a cash bar. This is frowned on in many areas of the country. In Idaho we have a host liability law which makes the event host liable for the actions of guests. Therefore, it is common in this area to host beer and wine or a champagne toast and allow guests to pay for other alcohol if they choose to imbibe. Alternatively, don’t make alcohol other than beer and wine available at all. It is also appropriate, and budget-friendly, not to serve alcohol at all.

18. Not having a hair or make-up trial. Plan to have your hair done about a month before the wedding. Take your veil with you and also take a camera to record the style you like. The hairdresser won’t remember every detail, so the photos will be helpful.

19. Not creating a day-of itinerary. You and your wedding coordinator should create a plan for the day, then she should share it with your photographer, DJ and officiant, so they can work together to make the day flow smoothly just the way you want. If you don’t have a coordinator, you will need to create your own plan before the rehearsal. Nothing frustrates officiants more than being unexpectedly placed in charge of an unplanned or poorly planned rehearsal. With a plan, you should be able to run through your rehearsal twice in less than 45 minutes. Without one, your rehearsal can easily take two hours or more.

20. Becoming stressed out and not enjoying your day. Don’t let all the details get to you. During the months leading up to the wedding, take some time away from the wedding planning; get enough sleep before the wedding; be sure to eat on the wedding day. Your guests don’t know what you planned, so don’t stress the details. Remember, it is the marriage that counts, not what happens on the wedding day. With a bit of pre-planning, you can have a wonderful day free from any major glitches.

Submitted by:

Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
www.memorable-events.com

©2011, Glenna Tooman; all rights reserved

1. Not sticking to your budget. You have a budget for a reason. It is never okay to overspend and then pay for an event for months or years afterwards. Decide what is important to you and where you can compromise. Your guests won’t know or care if you wanted steak but could afford only chicken.

2. Hiring a friend or family member as your photographer or videographer. You are only going to do this once. When the day is over you will have only your memories and your photos. If Uncle Joe spends his time at the bar, not behind the camera, it is your loss. And what if he doesn’t know how to use that camera, pose the wedding party and families, and other issues. Additionally, your family and friends should be your guests, not your employees. If things go wrong or you are disappointed with the results, it can strain relationships for years.

3. Planning your own shower, bachelorette party, or rehearsal dinner. You are the guest of honor; let your bridesmaids, your friends or your aunt do the planning. They should ask your opinion on the date and the guest list, but that is all. They are paying for the party and they get to make the decisions within reason. If they want to plan something with which you are not comfortable, however, (a male stripper, for instance), be sure to say so. If they are your friends, they should know your tastes and respect them.

The same is true for the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, the groom’s parents pay for the dinner. As hosts, they decide where the dinner will be held, what will be served, and how many people they can afford to accommodate (just the wedding party or additional guests). As the guests of honor, you and your fiancé should relax and enjoy the evening.

4. Choosing members of the wedding party out of “obligation.” Just because you were someone’s bridesmaid years ago doesn’t mean she has to be your bridesmaid. Similarly, if your fiancé has never met your brother and he has several male relatives and close friends, he isn’t obligated to ask your brother to be a groomsman. Your attendants should be your close friends and relatives – people who will still be part of your life many years from now.

5. Arranging your own flowers, baking your own cake, etc. You won’t have time to do these things on your big day. Don’t work yourself into a frenzy trying to do everything yourself. That is what florists, bakers, hairdressers and other professionals are for.

6. Planning an outdoor wedding without a back-up plan. Things happen; it might be 100 degrees; it may rain; the wind could blow. Unless your ceremony and reception will be short, look for a venue with indoor – outdoor options or rent a tent.

7. Acting like a bridezilla. Though you are one of the stars of the day, you don’t have the right to treat others poorly for months leading up to the wedding. No tantrums, no pouting, no trying to control others. Rather, try to enjoy the process.

8. Not planning the ceremony. Even if you will be reciting traditional vows provided by your officiant, you still need to choose music, perhaps a reading or candle lighting, and other things to complete the ceremony.

9. Trying to memorize your vows. Even if you have practiced extensively, you will be nervous and you could be forgetful. Give a written copy of the vows to your officiant. That way, if you need help, he/she will be prepared to assist.

10. Wearing new shoes for the first time on the wedding day. You don’t want to be miserable on your big day, so wear the shoes around the house for a few days to break them in. Scuff the soles with sandpaper so you don’t slip while walking down the carpeted aisle. If you will be wearing a higher heel than usual, be sure you are comfortable walking in them. Bring a comfortable pair of shoes to change into for the reception.

Check back next week for more wedding planning mistakes!

Submitted by:

Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
www.memorable-events.com

©2011, Glenna Tooman; all rights reserved

Gifts

Coats and other valuables – If guests will be wearing coats, bringing purses, cameras or other valuables, provide a coat rack inside the room where the reception will occur, not in a foyer or hall. Ask guests to keep purses, cameras and similar items with them rather than leaving them lying around.

Guests who drink too much – Be careful about providing too much alcohol at your event. You could be liable for the actions of guests who over indulge. Hiring a professional bartender to keep an eye on guests will help, but not if guests have their own stash in a car or another place. You may want to ask a family member or a friend to keep an eye on things, particularly if you know that certain people may tend to over indulge. Better to send Uncle Charlie home in a taxi while he is still reasonably upright than to risk him doing something he, and you, will later regret.

Home events – If your wedding, rehearsal dinner or a shower will be held at a private home, particularly if it will occur in the yard, several security issues may arise. If the event is not occurring in a room near the front door, keep the door locked. Also lock side doors and windows. If you don’t want catering staff coming in and out of the house, set up a work station for them in the garage. The same goes for guests who need a restroom. If you are not comfortable with them in your home unsupervised, rent port-a-potties or in some way limit access to only a certain area of the house. Keep valuables out of sight and don’t allow anyone to linger too long in the house.

If the yard contains obstacles that might cause injury, such as sprinkler heads, hoses, uneven sidewalks, or clothes lines, be sure to point them out. This is particularly important with children, who run and chase each other and can easily trip and fall.

By taking time to assess and plan security measures, you and your guests can have a safe and enjoyable time free from accidents or injuries.

Interested in more tips? Check out our previous wedding security post.

Submitted by:

Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
www.memorable-events.com

©2011, Glenna Tooman; all rights reserved

Myth:

Reality: The coordinator can only control so much. If you have hired merchants who are new to the wedding scene or you have chosen a less than desirable location, your coordinator will do what she can to make your dreams a reality, but she can’t control the behavior of unskilled merchants, the leaking roof, the overflowing toilets and other issues.

Whether you are hiring a coordinator to help with all the planning or just for the day, she should be available to advise you throughout the planning process. Though a day-of coordinator won’t visit merchants with you, she should give you advice on questions to ask and what to look for so you make informed decisions. She should offer referrals to dependable merchants who have a reputation for providing quality service at an affordable price and who are willing to work with you and your budget.

You need to meet with your day-of coordinator several times before the wedding, often enough to develop a relationship. You should feel comfortable with her and she should understand your personality and tastes. That way, any decisions she needs to make will be ones you would have made.

Your day-of coordinator should help you create a timeline for the rehearsal and wedding day and she should be at the rehearsal to supervise activities in cooperation with your officiant. If your officiant doesn’t attend rehearsals (and many don’t), she should be prepared to conduct the rehearsal.

Hiring a day-of wedding coordinator is one of the best decisions you can make to assure your wedding day is as flawless as possible, but don’t wait until the last minute to hire her. Do it while she is available, then trust her to handle the details so you, and your mom, can enjoy your big day.

Interested in seeing more Wedding Coordinator myths revealed? Check out our previous post!

Submitted by:

Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
www.memorable-events.com

©2011, Glenna Tooman, all rights reserved

Can Mom do it? No, she will be in the photos and you want her to enjoy the day. Can Aunt Martha do it? Maybe, but will she want to miss the festivities to spend her time rushing around in the background? So, your best option is to hire a day-of wedding coordinator. Right? Maybe.

Myth: A day-of coordinator can be hired shortly before the wedding, after all the details are in place.

Reality: If you wait, you may not be able to find a knowledgeable and experienced coordinator. (Beware the person who is hoping you will be her first client.) Coordinators book months, sometimes a year or more, in advance. They book day-of events just like they book events at which they are assisting with the planning. If her calendar is full, you are out of luck.

Myth: A day-of coordinator will take your plans and make them happen.

Reality: In most cases, unless you have planned numerous events in the past, the coordinator will need to tweak your plans to fit the realities of your location, weather, time of day and other considerations. For instance, if you are planning an outdoor wedding, those tall, skinny centerpieces may look pretty, but they won’t remain standing long. The slightest breeze and they will topple, leaving your linens soaking wet and the centerpieces unusable. Or, you plan to use paper plates at a windy location. If you do, your guests may end up wearing their dinner rather than enjoying it. Or how about those bees or the fruit flies at the winery that love to crawl around on your food? Ick! A knowledgeable coordinator will know about these issues and many others and will recommend solutions.

… more Wedding Coordinator myths in two weeks, check back soon!

Submitted by:

Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC
www.memorable-events.com

©2011, Glenna Tooman, all rights reserved

Selecting a caterer for your reception is one of many important decisions you will execute regarding a stressful, exciting and very special day.

Every caterer will of course provide food for yourevent.  But, that being said, every reception is its own, depending on wants, needs, tastes and budget.  Creating a great reception has many moving parts.  When exchanging correspondence with your prospective catering choices try to have some ideas of budgets in mind.  This will help your caterer to be very specific when building your catering package.  You plan your wedding your caterer has many.

Some important questions to ask.

• Cost of the proposed menu yours or theirs
• Services provided included in that cost….Set-up, travel, service attendants, clean-up, china or disposable serviceware, linen and cake cutting
• Will you be provided a contract?
• What are the deposit requirements?
• When is a guest count required?
• When is the final payment due?

Just remember that when selecting your caterer you compare apples to apples in selection.  These bids can vary a great deal, make sure you are going to receive the quality food and services that are required for your reception.  Full Service and not full service catering prices will always differ.

Submitted by: 

Jonathan Jacobsen
Big Sky Catering
375-0937
www.bigskycatgering.com

First of all – take pictures. If you’re at another wedding that you like – take a picture. If you’re shopping and see the perfect color of a dress that you love – take a picture. If you’re inspired by nature and love the flowers that come out during summer or spring, take pictures. If you’re planning your wedding more than a year out, make sure that you take pictures of the same time of year your wedding will be – even better if you can get pictures at the same venue.

Use your pictures to make an idea board – collage together your photos and magazine clippings, etc. to see what colors you are drawn to and what color combinations you like.  Chances are you’ll start to notice a trend in the colors you are drawn to.

If you find one particular photo that you are drawn to and want to develop your wedding colors around that inspiration – check out this great tool. You can upload one photo and it will automatically create a color palette from your photo. Click here to create your custom color palette.

Consider standard colors for weddings during the time of year for your wedding. For instance, summer weddings will typically use bright and bold colors (torquoise, fuschia, violet) while a spring wedding will tend to be more pastels. Typically, “traditional” wedding colors take their cues from nature – look at what colors the plants and flowers are displaying during the time of year for your wedding. Of course, this is only a guideline. Your wedding colors should be a reflection of yourself and your personality.

If you’ve settled on one color but aren’t sure how to use it – consider using a color wheel.

• Complimentary colors – are those that are opposite each other on the color wheel. These colors will provide a “pop” – as when you pair together blue and orange.  This color scheme can tend to add a traditional feel to your wedding.
• Analagous colors – are those colors that lie next to each other on the color wheel. Using analagous colors will help to give you a range of colors while still maintaining a similar “hue” or color feeling through your decor. This color scheme can add a personal and casual touch to your wedding.
• Monochromatic colors – are those that are in the same “wedge” on the color wheel. Using monochromatic colors allows you to highlight the properties of the color you have chosen, all the way from a very vibrant deep saturated color to a grayish-black version of the color and very light pastel-white version of the color. This color scheme can help to lend a modern touch to your wedding.

Refer to the color chart below to help you determine your wedding colors.

Consider budgeting for a bridal portrait session before your wedding

In case you’re not familiar with the term, a bridal portrait session is one that is of the bride only. This session is typically done one month before the wedding, although some brides choose to do it on the wedding day or the day after. These photos are typically displayed at the wedding.

One main advantage of doing a bridal portrait session is that you get to see what the whole ensemble looks like before your wedding day. Since your portraits will be done with everything – dress, veil, jewelry, etc. you will get a chance to see how everything works together before your actual wedding. If you decide that you don’t like the way your earrings go with your necklace, you can change it out. Nobody will notice from the pictures if you’re changing minor details. Wearing your dress for a photo session before your wedding will also help you to determine logistical items for the big day, such as comfort of your undergarments and the easiest way to sit down, get through doors, and even use the facilities… hey – it’s going to happen anyway, might as well know the best way to work it!

The second main advantage to doing a bridal portrait session is by doing it on a different day than your wedding – is that you will look relaxed and happy. The stress from your wedding day will not show through in your portraits and you’ll have the opportunity to look your absolute best. You won’t be worrying about if you talked to everyone and if the cake is on time and if the seating chart will work – because you’re avoiding so many of these stresses bridal portraits are often considered much better than wedding day photos, and the difference will show. Just be sure to include the cost of this session in your budgeting.

Bridal portraits are typically taken somewhere other than the reception location. Sometimes brides will choose to have the session done the same place as engagement photos were taken. Ask your photographer if there is a location he/she would recommend and if they charge extra for a different location. Make sure that you choose a location that will show off your personal style as well as the beauty of your wedding gown and accessories. Ask your wedding photographer if they offer a package deal to include your bridal portrait session. If your wedding photographer won’t give you a good deal on your session, don’t hesitate to look for a different photographer. You might also want a photographer with a different style that better suits your personal style as well. Either way, make sure that you spend as much time choosing your bridal portrait photographer as you do your wedding day photographer.

Budgeting and planning for a bridal portrait session will leave you with beautiful portraits commemorating your wedding, for the rest of your life. Treat yourself to a photo session showing off you, relaxed and excited about your big wedding day.

Tips for who to invite to your Idaho Wedding

One of the main factors in planning your wedding is how many people are you going to have? Will your wedding and reception venues allow as many people as your list contains? Does your budget allow for catering for as many people as you’re planning? Do your parents or your soon-to-be inlaws have a different idea about who and how many people should be at your wedding? Here are some things to consider when creating your invitation list.

Remember that when you’re creating your invitation list, the number of invitations won’t necessarily match the number of guests. Be sure to keep track of +1 guests, spouses and children that may be attending from each invitation you are planning.

A good rule of thumb is if you haven’t seen or spoken to someone for more than five years, you probably don’t need to worry about inviting them to your wedding.

Be prepared to say no up front. If your mom wants to invite her hairdresser and you already know that you’re getting tight on your list, be ready to say no in the beginning rather than having to make a large cut list later.

Be sure to invite those family members that will be insulted if they’re not in attendance.

You may also want to consider having your wedding and reception on different days and having a different guest list for each, suited to fit your budget.

Be sure that you consult your parents and your fiance’s parents. They should each come up with a list of who they would like to invite. You’ll know who to ultimately include by people you recognize as having spent time with yourself. Have your fiance review the list from his parents as well. Then, you’ll want to communicate your ultimate decision with the parents. This will allow them to either talk you into including someone or will eliminate the embarrassment of them talking to a potential guest who has been cut from the list.

And finally, remember that ultimately it is your wedding. If you feel uncomfortable inviting someone, you probably shouldn’t. Likewise, if you feel drawn to invite someone who you haven’t seen in over five years or that contradicts the other guidelines above, do so. On your most memorable day you’ll want to be surrounded by a hand picked list of people with whom you feel comfortable enough to share your intimate feelings and with whom you want to celebrate.